


this heart, you

by Lady_Downey



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Breakup, F/M, Heartbreak, One-Shot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14702496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Downey/pseuds/Lady_Downey
Summary: Stannis is heartbroken. A brief exploration of how horrible that is for my boo.





	this heart, you

He woke up in the still darkness, eyes looking straight ahead at the ceiling. A few seconds had barely passed, not enough for him to muster any thoughts, when the dreaded, unwelcomed, familiar feeling came rushing in. He never had a fighting chance. The feeling was dark and heavy and pressed onto his chest making it hard to breathe. It was something unlike he had ever felt.  
Stannis Baratheon thought he knew about sadness, about loss. He witnessed the death of his parents after all. But this was different, more jagged in its edges, more demanding.  
There were a couple of hours left until his alarm sounded off, he knew. Davos always joked about him waking up impossibly early. Turns out I can, he thought darkly.  
He stayed in bed.  
The thing about the feeling is that it always came with her name. And not only her name, but her face, her laugh, her softness. Unbidden yet bidden, memories flashed through his mind.  
_“You know you can tell me,” she whispers, rubbing her hand on his back comfortingly. He meets her eyes and finds so much beauty in them outside from their sparkly blue. “You can trust me.” A few seconds passes before he tells her everything. He can’t ignore it, how not wrong it feels to tell her everything._  
_She turns around, a smile on her face. She’s wrapped in his bed sheets, looking like she didn’t belong anywhere else but here with him. His hands find her underneath, warm and naked and wet. She calls out his name in mock outrage but soon he has her moaning, and now it’s his turn to smile._  
_“Stay, please.” She turns to look at him, eyes wide. “Did Stannis Baratheon just ask me to stay?” “He did,” he replied. “It’s too late anyway. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” “Not for any other reason?” Despite himself, he smiled. “I want you to stay with me.”_  
Of course, everything sweet turns sour soon. Nothing good lasts, especially for him. Stannis had always known it all along.  
_He looks at his phone for the nth time, grinding his teeth. No messages yet. The urge to hurl the phone away comes over him, instead he lets it drop on the desk. Why isn’t she answering his messages? What was wrong? He swore out loud. He stared emptily ahead._  
_“I won’t…” he starts, then he looks away fumbling for words. He doesn’t have time to be surprised at his fumbling because he’s realizing he’s feeling something in his chest. He starts again, but she interrupts again. “I’m sorry, Stannis.” Finally, he looks her in the eye. “I think everything has been said, and I should go. I won’t prolong this for you.”_  
_“I don’t like like this and I don’t like us like this. You know you can tell me anything and that if there’s anything in my power to fix something that’s wrong I will.” There is a long silence. “What if there’s nothing?” Her voice is crystal clear, cutting through the room. He’s confused until she adds, “I just don’t think I can do this anymore.”_  
Unlike before, nowadays even despite waking up so early it took him effort to get off his bed. Everything felt wrong, messy, missing. And gods, there was the feeling that no matter how much he tried to stop it he would still wake up to. Once he was out of bed, things were slightly easier. He had a routine to follow. Unfortunately, there were memories that followed him as well. They carried her laughter, her skin, the way he said his name.  
This is what he got for letting someone into his life, for letting that someone in so effortlessly it seemed. At times like this, he couldn’t help getting angry with himself. That it was all his fault, that he should have known better. He wasn’t a silly boy in his teenage years and he had never hungered for somebody’s attention.  
The thing was, Stannis Baratheon had never believed in love until her. He thought he knew what it was, what it would do, but he had never felt it. He had never loved before. Had he known it would hurt so much when she would eventually leave, of course she would, he wouldn’t have risked. But any way he saw it, there was no way to escape it. He had been too blind to see that, too…in love. And she, she was too lovely not to love.  
He had work. That kept him busy throughout the day. And then at home after, he’d spend some time watching mindlessly TV. He didn’t feel much then.  
The silence was deafening as he turned everything off and went to his bedroom. Then there was the emptiness of his bed, now odd-looking knowing she had slept there and knowing she was never going to sleep there again. In her place, there was her very present and solid absence.  
Perhaps that was the feeling in his chest, or perhaps that was something else entirely his that grieved.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is what happens when you get your own heart broken and you love Stannis to bits. I just wanted to write about how horrible this feeling feels while not exactly thinking about myself lol. Besides, I've been meaning to write Stansa stuff but I SUCK at finishing stuff, which is why this is going up as is. I finally finished something.  
> If anyone read this, tell me what you think pretty please?


End file.
